say it ain't so...

A modern twist on a coaching/parenting impasse. Here are the facts sans sentiments: Tom was one of our top two forwards in an 10-2 loss in which we played well for half the game. something to build on actually because we were within a goal half way through the game. (that's where our team is now, moral victories in 10-2 losses).

Tom calls me Sunday morning (a non-visitation weekend for me) saying he doesn't want to play because the game conflicts with a family dinner (his Mom's new family). Without getting too deep into Tom's personal life, let's just say that the call came from his heart, not anyone else's prompting.

We, the Devils, really needed him. We lost 2-0 Sunday (the Rockets got an empty netter), and we actually scored in the final minute after pulling our goalie, a seemingly miraculous tying goal) but it was waived off after a referee conference, having been ruled that the puck crossed the goal line after the whistle.

An 11-yr-old kid with an over-crowded schedule pleas for a night off to have some quality family time. Stepping away from my coaching identity, it's a no-brainer.

It was surreal to show up all pumped to coach without my kid who was vital to our success. Two other players were out with th flu, so we really needed him.

I asked Tom what he wanted to say to the team ("tell them I have a family engagement") and had one of his teammates call him with the details while I drove him home.

A hockey-tinted microcosm of modern fractured-family life. Kid made his own choice, with a not-so-great consequence on one end. Probably good preparation for life choices down the road.

if you can't say something nice...

...don't say anything at all. Although the kids still practice fairly hard, they cant help but consider it a lost season. Bad News Bruins have been outscored about 20-3 since the last entry. Tom mentions, without complaining, that he doesn't believe the team has a chance to win. I pick up the cue and do my best to talk him out of it. I have a good feeling about this weekend.

Our most struggling defenseman, little Allen, is having a birthday party after the game. something sweet and innocent about both Allen and the idea of a travel team hanging out eating cake and playing silly party games. I can easily imagine a win to accentuate the festivities. AND, on Sunday coach Steve will be missing in action due to a conflict. In a pure coincidence, we are undefeated when Steve is absent. Can you smell a weekend sweep?

Tomorrow is a shmoozing fundraiser for the whole 23-team NJ junior Devils empire. I'll be taking Tom to a baseball game at Diamond Nation. Gotta have priorities.

going on separate paths

Tom went to a baseball doubleheader in a magnificent baseball facility 45 minutes away, and I went to coach the Bad News Bruins. I dont know who fared worse: Tom had 5 errors at short and a meltdown on the mound, I yelled my bloody head off at a bunch of pee wees who dont even remember what it's like to win a game. they are playing two excellent opponents this weeknd. I'll be splitting early from game one and will be AWOL with my brothers enjoying a reunion in central Maine while Tom soldiers on.

I called him on his ride back and he was having fun with his baseball buddies, so he apparently recovered.

Our D cant make a pass coming out from behind the net, uncontested, to the wing planted on the boards offering a target. Whoa. I guess the goal now is to try and make it fun before we lose them entirely. Maybe yelling isn't the way to go.

When a hockey team is going south, my response is to work hard, focus, get determined. Our kids start tuning out, and that's not good. They zone out, we explain way too long because of their tendency to zone out, and then they screw up the drill right from the get go. Emotional reactivity, something to be avoided.

I'll be getting my hockey results from the road this weekend, not in person. On a bright side, head man Steve seems pretty loyal and I sense I wont get screwed over on the "Stipend" this season, even though I'm missing the critical month of FEB. I'll let things play out, prepare for anything.

lines mixed, same results

We lost 5-1 to a bunch of stiffs. There was no shortening of the benches, everyone played, attitudes were OK. We're just not that good, but the kids seem to be having some fun; there's no misery. We're a fairly cohesive bunch, which in hindsight is a heck of a lot better than dividing the club into haves and have nots. To those readers who weighed in, thank you for your wisdom. I floated the idea of shortening the bench to the head honcho who was experienced enough to kill the idea in its tracks.

Judging from tom's reactions, there is a bit of resignation, however, of losing and the resulting expectations. Being resigned to losing, forsaking hope because of the talent reality, kills the soul a bit. Leaving the rink I mentioned to Tom that if there truly had been cuts during the spring tryouts, he might have been on the outside looking in, which he acknowledged as a legitimate possibility.

the words of Tom's rec-league coach echoed, "Don't overlook the confidence boost of playing house league hockey." although playing in both was unrealistic, I wondered of tom would lose his zeal for the game from being beaten so regularly.

This club needs a win. Good news is that there are no deserters at this time.

ice time for have nots...yea or nay

First league game and our club has hit rock bottom. Football score, 7-0. Tom commented that he could hardly wait til next season and hoped for a better team. Whoa...not a good sign.

This is travel hockey. there are supposed to be tryouts, standards of play you need to attain for the privilege of representing the club. This team, however, took everyone. And the consequences are a losing record and a dangerous trend.

I spoke to my favorite dad, my "deep throat" of the parents. He suggested shortening the bench, sports talk for letting the struggling kids ride the bench instead of getting abused on the ice.

Let them compete in practice, play hard enough in games to earn a spot, because they didn't earn it at tryouts. I'm tempted to propose it, which is easier to say with a son on the first two lines. It would be a 1-2, a 1-2-3 scenario with the forward lines. This would allow the third line one shift every five. Team manager Kevin's son would be on that third line. Might allow him to make that call.

I would play 5 Defensemen, and have three players compete for the 4th and 5th slots.

If we stay with the status quo, we could lose a bunch of games and subsequently the players and parents interest in our season. We our supposed to be competitive. I say we do it, but that might be a totally selfish position. Would I do it if Tom was on the outside looking in? What would you the reader do?